The next few weeks passed smoothly. Lindsay went out in public with Jon often –just to restaurants, shopping, that kind of thing, nothing big. For the most part they had been left alone. She also spent several days with the kids. Everything was going well. She was starting to relax. Careful, you haven’t had a real test yet! She cautioned herself.
She was sitting at her desk when her phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Hello, is this Lindsay Chandler?”
“Yes, it is.”
“Hi, this is Janet from Paul Korzilius’ office.”
“Oh, hello.” Uh oh, what’s up?
“Jon wanted me to call you with the details for the charity ball next week.”
“The what?”
“Uh oh, he didn’t tell you about this did he?” Janet sounded amused.
“Uh, no he didn’t.” And I wonder why?
“Ok, so it’s next Saturday, cocktails from 5-7, dinner at 7 and dancing afterwards. It’s at the Ritz in New York City and proceeds go to children’s charities. It’s a chance for those who can afford the tickets to rub shoulders with some of the biggest local names in the music industry.”
Lindsay blew out a breath. “So we’re talking black tie and ballgown here?”
“Definitely. I’ve arranged for a limo to pick up everyone at the estate. Will that work for you?”
“Yes that will work. You said ‘everyone’. Who else is going?”
“Oh, Richie, David, Tico and Hugh are all coming.”
Thank God! “Ok…I guess I better go dress shopping. Thanks for giving me the heads up.”
“You’re welcome. One of these days men might actually realize that we need some advance notice to prepare for major events like this.” Janet sympathized.
“Really? What world are you living in?” Lindsay asked dryly.
Janet sighed. “I know, but I live in eternal hope.”
They both laughed.
Walking out to reception Lindsay hoped Julie could help.
“Hey” Julie greeted her.
“Hi. I have to buy a new dress for this charity ball next week and I could use some help. Do you have any free time this week?” Lindsay asked.
“You mean that children’s charity ball in the city next week?” Lindsay nodded. “Wow, you’ll really be hobnobbing it. I’m envious. You’ll also need a spectacular dress, and I know just the place. How’s tomorrow night after work?” Julie offered.
“Sounds great. Thanks Julie.”
That night while they were sitting watching TV, Lindsay turned to Jon. “By the way, I’m going to be late tomorrow night.”
“Ok, working late?”
“No, it seems that I’m expected to attend this ball next week and I need a dress, so I need to go shopping.” She stared at him waiting for his reaction.
He nodded. “Janet called you then. Good.”
“That’s all you have to say?” She was stunned.
“What?” He just looked surprised.
“Didn’t it even cross your mind that I might need some time to prepare and maybe you should mention this little outing to me?”
“Yeah, that’s why I told Janet to call you.” He looked at her. “Why are you mad?”
“Because I’m hearing about things from someone other than you, like you can’t spare the time to tell me yourself. What would have happened if Janet hadn’t called me until next week and I didn’t have time to get ready? She didn’t know you hadn’t told me about it. She was just calling to give me the details. Next time you’ll be going by yourself.” She flopped back on the couch in a snit.
He looked at her for a moment thinking about what she had said…..and what she hadn’t. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you myself. Next time I will, I promise. I’m just bad at remembering those kinds of details and thought if she told you, we’d both be on time. Plus, you would ask me about what to wear and I figured Janet would be a better one to talk to about that.” He caught her eyes with his. “Honey, don’t be nervous. The guys and I will be there. Everything will be fine.”
She blew out a breath. “Are the guys bringing dates?”
“No, they’re all going stag.”
She frowned. “Then why aren’t you?”
“Because I don’t want to. Besides I’m hoping having you with me will keep the floozies away.” He smiled. “And I want to show you off.” She snorted at him, but smiled.
Chapter 29
The night of the ball she stood looking at herself critically in the bathroom mirror. The dress was rich blue that matched the colour of her eyes exactly. The neckline was a little bit lower than what she normally wore, but it suited the off the shoulder sleeves. The tight fitting bodice nipped in her waist and pushed up her breasts creating a real hourglass effect. The skirt was to her ankles, but the front had a slit that reached mid thigh revealing a smoky stocking encased leg with every step. This was definitely not the sort of dress that she would have picked out herself, but Julie assured her it was perfect and that she looked sexy as hell in it. Now if only she wasn’t afraid to take a deep breath!
She had her jewelry laid out on the countertop and had just fastened the second earring when Jon walked into the bathroom….and froze.
“Jesus!” Even he couldn’t have said whether it was a curse or a prayer. Walking up behind her he looked over her shoulder into the mirror surveying her with open appreciation. Reaching for her necklace he fastened it around her neck and nudged the pendant into its nest between her breasts with a fingertip. Gripping her waist with both hands he lowered his head and kissed her bare shoulder.
“I’m not letting you out of my sight tonight!” She could see the desire blazing in his eyes. It went a long way towards boosting her confidence for what she was going to face tonight. She decided the outrageous cost of the dress was worth it.
When she reached the top of the stairs she could hear the guys talking and laughing below. As she descended the staircase she became aware of the sudden silence. Glancing up she saw them all standing there watching her in various stages of shock. Richie’s mouth was even hanging open. Reaching the bottom she gave them a warm smile. “Thank you.”
Sensing Jon beside her she glanced at him. He was shaking his head at his friends. Sliding his arm around her waist possessively he smiled smugly. “Down boys, she’s all mine!”
In the limo Jon sat beside her. Much to her amusement, every time she moved he would reach to pull her cape closed around her. Helping her out of the car he kept hold of her hand and tucked it firmly in the crook of his arm, keeping her close beside him.
Lindsay had never been down a red carpet before. The upside was that she didn’t have time to worry about her appearance. Nearly blind from flashbulbs going off in her face and deaf from screams and yells of “Jon, over here” “Turn this way”, and “We love you!”, all she could do was cling to Jon’s arm and be thankful for his guidance .
Once inside, the noise became the dull roar of the conversations of a large crowd. Very large. Waiting in line for the coat check Lindsay leaned close to murmur to Jon. “Are these things always like this?”
Bending down to hear her, he grimaced. “Unfortunately, yes.”
She nodded. “Do you ever get used to it?”
“Sort of. Thankfully we don’t go to many this big.” He answered. Reaching the counter Jon helped her off with her cape and handed it over together with his coat, accepting the tickets from the attendants. Lindsay smiled to herself when she realized the guys had spread out around her like protective buffer. She had never felt so much like a princess. I could get used to this!
Moving through the crowd was a very slow process. Every few feet someone would call out to Jon and he would have to stop. Lindsay tried not to stare in awe at some of the people she was meeting. Some were record company execs, some were up and coming politicians, but there were a large number of people that she had only seen on TV and never in a million years would have dreamed she’d be meeting. Two in particular would stand out in her memories of the evening.
“Hey, Jon!” She heard a man’s voice call out but she couldn’t see who it was. Jon, however knew immediately and stopped and turned towards the voice. As the crowd parted she saw Al Gore approaching. Smiling, Jon hugged him in greeting then turned to Lindsay.
“Lindsay I’d like you to meet to meet former Vice President Al Gore. Al, this is Lindsay Chandler.”
“Mr. Gore, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” Lindsay responded politely.
“Please, call me Al, and the pleasure is all mine.” He gave Jon an approving glance. “Well, I’d heard rumours about a new woman in your life. You sure know how to pick ’em!” They all laughed. Promising to talk later, they separated and melted back into the crowd.
A few minutes later they came face to face with “the other guy from New Jersey” and his wife.
“Hey man.”
“Hey Bruce, hi Patti.” Jon turned. “Bruce and Patti Springsteen,…Lindsay Chandler.”
“Hi.” Lindsay smiled and shook hands.
“How are you surviving your trial by fire?” Patti asked sympathetically.
“So far so good. I have a wonderful band of protectors.” She waved at the guys surrounding her.
“Good. Listen if it gets too rough and you need advice or just to talk to someone who’s been there and survived, give me a call. Jon has our number.” Patti offered.
“Thank you, I really appreciate that.” Lindsay was amazed at the offer.
Finally reaching their table, Lindsay sank gratefully into a chair. “Whew, that was worse than trying to get in a general admission gate!”
“Want a drink?” Jon asked chuckling.
“Yes please.”
“I’ll get it, you stay with Lindsay.” Hugh offered. “If you go we won’t see you until dinner starts.”
Sitting beside her Jon rested his arm along the back of her chair and pointed out various celebrities. She was so caught up with what he was saying she didn’t notice the venomous looks she was getting from several women in the room – and leers from more than a few men.
Dinner was, as usual with Richie and David around, a laughter filled hour. After, as the band was setting up, people circulated again. Quite a few stopped by their table to visit. Lindsay was quite surprised that they seemed genuinely interested in her work. She was really enjoying herself.
As the musicians were warming up she excused herself to find the ladies’ room. Holding her chair for her Jon kissed her ear. “Hurry back.” Standing, she smiled and kissed him briefly.
After fighting her way through the crowd and into the bathroom she found an empty stall and sat down in relief, letting the female chatter flow around her.
After a few minute a couple voices became clear.
“Did you see that woman with Bon Jovi?” the first voice asked snidely.
“Yeah, what charity is she with – hopelessly single?” Came the response. They laughed.
“Does she really think that dress looks good? I can’t believe they actually make one that big.” The first voice again.
“I know. What is he thinking? The man could have any woman in the world. What’s he doing with her? It must be a bet or some contest winner or something. Or maybe he’s just using her to decoy the media. I don’t think it will work though. No one’s going to believe he’s really dating her.” Voice number two.
“Could she possibly think he’s really interested in her? Could she be that gullible? That he would really want to be with someone like her?” Their laughter faded as they left the room.
Lindsay sat there for a long time shaking and trying not to be sick. She had started to think that things might actually go her way this time. Hearing her worst fears spoken out loud made her stomach sink and her heart ache. Pulling herself together she exited the stall and stood in front of the mirror. They’re just jealous. She told herself. Don’t let them do this to you. They’re just like that blonde at Elements. If Jon didn’t want you with him you wouldn’t be here.
Confidence partially restored she refreshed her lipstick and left the bathroom. She was fighting her was through the crowd when she heard snippets of a conversation between a couple that made the blood in her veins freeze.
“Who’s the woman with Bon Jovi?” the woman asked.
“I don’t know, but more importantly, where did he find her? Talk about a charity case!” the man answered.
“I know. You don’t think he’s really interested in her do you?” she asked.
“No way! As I understand it, he was so afraid of getting swarmed by women after his marriage broke up that he needed someone to throw them off the scent so that he could pick his women at his own speed.” He informed her.
“Oh, that explains it then. For a minute I thought he was losing his mind!” Their voices drifted off as the crowd moved on.
Lindsay fought to breathe. Could it be true? Has everything he’s said been a lie? She didn’t want to believe it, but it would explain why he was with her. Remembering Jon’s reaction when he first saw her in the dress she realized he was a better actor that she thought. That was an Oscar worthy performance. Stiffening her spine and holding her head high she headed back to the table wondering how much longer she had to endure this evening before she could go home and lick her wounds in private.
Pasting what she hoped was a convincing smile on her face as she neared the table she was thankful that Jon was in conversation with some man from the record company. Sinking into her chair she reached for her wine glass. Draining it she reached for the bottle. Unfortunately there wasn’t enough wine in the room to deaden the pain she was feeling.
She didn’t notice that Richie was watching her.
Conversation finished, Jon turned to her. Looking at her face he frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.” She tried to smile.
“Don’t lie to me. I can see it in your face.”
She shook her head. “I’m fine, really, just feeling a little squished after fighting through that crowd. I’ll be ok now that I can breathe.”
He didn’t look convinced, but he let it drop. The band was playing the music of the artists that were in the room. Lindsay smiled when she heard the opening notes of Bed of Roses.
Jon grabbed her hand and started to stand. “Come on, let’s dance.”
Everyone at the table stopped and stared at him. “What? You guys act like I never dance.”
“You don’t.” They responded in unison.
“Well, I am tonight.” Pulling her chair back he tugged her to her feet and out onto the dance floor. Taking her into his arms he began revolving slowly around the floor. Unable to help himself he started singing softly. She smiled.
“That’s better.” He murmured. She looked at him questionly. “You smiled. Feeling better?”
“Mmm.” She answered vaguely.
On the side of the dance floor two couples were watching and discussing the dancers.
“There they are. Who is she?” one woman asked.
“Who cares, she won’t be around long anyway.” Her husband replied.
“You don’t think it’s for real then?” the other woman asked.
“No way. Look at her. Do you really think he would pick someone like her?” the man answered.
“I don’t know. They seem pretty close.” His wife argued.
“Peter’s right. Apparently, he’s so afraid of being hunted by hordes of women since he split with his wife, he needed a decoy to allow him to check out the field.” The other man explained.
“Aah, that explains it.” His wife responded. “I wondered what he was thinking.”
None of them noticed Richie standing behind them listening. Bingo! He knew he had discovered the source of Lindsay’s upset tonight. He knew better than anyone how rumours could hurt a relationship. He was afraid there were going to be a rough couple of days ahead for Jon and Lindsay. Heading back to the table he started thinking of ways to help his best friend and his new love.
Lindsay was very quiet on the ride home. She was trying to make sense of everything. On the one hand was Jon, the things he said and did, and the way he made her feel. On the other hand was the comments she heard tonight which echoed her darkest fears and fit with her past pattern. She didn’t know which to believe. When they pulled into the driveway of the estate she knew she couldn’t stay there tonight. Jon would want to talk about what was bothering her and she wasn’t ready for that yet. She knew this was probably her last chance with him. If she believed the rumours, accused him, and she was wrong, she would piss him off and lose him. He’d been very patient with her phobia, but there was a limit to what he would put up with…and she was afraid this was it. She needed to be sure. She needed to think.
Entering the house, she slipped upstairs, wrote Jon a note and snuck out to her car and home.
Ten minutes later Jon went upstairs to see if she was ok. “Damn it!”
Back downstairs he stormed into the den where the guys were and flopped into a chair.
“Where’s Lindsay?” David asked.
“Apparently she went home.” Jon bit out.
“Home? How come? Is she alright?” This from Tico.
Jon sighed. “Her note said she was tired and needed to go into the office tomorrow and didn’t want to spoil the party so she went home.”
“Do you believe that?” Hugh asked. “She didn’t say a word the whole way home.”
“I know. Something’s bothering her, but she won’t talk about it.” Jon’s frustration was showing.
“Maybe she just needs some time to sort it out herself before she talks to you.” Richie offered. And I’m going to help her do just that.
“Maybe.” Jon shrugged. “I guess I’ll just have to wait until tomorrow to find out, but damn! I’m tired of these dramatics!”
Chapter 30
Sitting at her desk the next day Lindsay was trying desperately to sort out her thoughts. It would be easy to believe the cruel words she’d overheard the night before. Just let the pain of the past rule her future. But did she really want to take the easy way? Was she willing to walk away from Jon just because of a few jealous people? She didn’t know those people so did she really care what they thought? And as far as she knew, Jon didn’t know them either, so how would they know what he was thinking anyway! But did she? That’s what it really came down to. If Jon truly cared for her, wasn’t he worth the risk? No one had ever made her feel like he did – sexy, special, appreciated, wanted…loved. Wasn’t that worth fighting for? But did he mean it, or was it just window dressing like they said?
So if she couldn’t trust the rumours, who could she trust? She should look at the reactions of the people who did know Jon. From the beginning, those closest to him didn’t bat an eyelash at her being with him. Everyone, from his mother, to his brother, to his closest friends welcomed her with open arms. There were no surprised looks, no questioning glances, just complete acceptance. In fact, Jon’s bandmates were very protective of her – like a sister. And even last night, the people he introduced her to like Al Gore and the Springsteen’s didn’t seem the least bit surprised at Jon’s choice of date.
Her thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of her phone. Afraid it might be Jon when she wasn’t ready yet to talk to him she glanced at the call display. It was reception.
“Hi Barb.” She greeted the weekend receptionist.
“Hi, Lindsay. There’s someone here to see you, can you come out?” She had been warned by Brian to be extra cautious about who was let in.
“Sure, I’ll be right there.” Heading out the door, Lindsay took a deep breath. Unlike Julie, Barb wasn’t a fan, and wouldn’t necessarily know who Jon was. Reaching reception, she was pleasantly surprised, and a touch concerned.
“Hi Richie.” She greeted him.
“Hi Lindsay. Sorry to bother you at work, but can we talk?” He looked determined.
“Sure, come to my office.” She getting more and more worried. “Is something wrong?”
“No, and I’m here to help you see that.” He responded cryptically.
Entering her office she waved him to a chair and sat down. “What’s up?”
He hesitate a moment. “What happened last night?”
“I was tired and needed to come in here today and I didn’t want to spoil the party, so I went home.”
Richie nodded. “Yeah, that’s what Jon said your note said…..but I don’t buy it.” When she looked at him in surprised he continued. “You didn’t say a word all the way home, I saw your face when you came back from the bathroom…and I heard a few people talking when you were dancing.”
“What did you hear?” she asked warily.
“I’m guessing the same bullshit you did – that Jon wasn’t really interested in you and that it was all a charade.”
She sighed. “Did you tell Jon?”
“No. I wanted to talk to you first.” He paused. “I’m also guessing that you took off last night to avoid talking to him about it.” He waited until she nodded in confirmation. “And you’re not sure what to think or who to believe.”
She grimaced. “You’re good.” She paused. “My head tells me to believe Jon and those closest to him and not a bunch of people who barely know him, but my heart’s afraid of being wrong – again. I’m not sure I could survive it this time.”
“Those people are nothing but a bunch of wanna be’s – the men want to be him and the women want to be with him. Listen, I probably know Jon as well as anyone, and better than most. I can honestly tell you that I haven’t seen him this happy in a very long time, and it’s because of you. I understand where you’re coming from and how you feel, but trust me – this is for real. If you can’t take my word for it, take Jon’s.” He pulled a tape recorder out of his pocket and set it on the desk. “I want you to hear this. Jon wrote it about a week after Stephanie was found.” He caught her eye. “Jon wrote this by himself. He played it for me when I came up to work on the new album.”
When he pressed play the strains of an acoustic guitar filled the office – no other instruments, just the guitar and Jon’s voice. As the ballad’s intro swelled Lindsay felt her stomach flutter in anticipation of what she was going to hear.
Everyone thought that I had it made
But fame and fortune all too soon fade
The love I thought would never die
Kicked my ass when she said goodbye
My world has been so cold for way too long
I felt so alone until you came along
My heart ached to feel some honest emotion
Your kiss is a balm, your love a healing potion
Things aren’t always what they seem
On the surface
The worst nightmares can seem a dream
On the surface
You entered my life and shook me to the core
Loving and caring you made me want more
Beautiful,smart you captured my attention
Compassionate and giving, you earned my affection
Things aren’t always what they seem
On the surface
The worst nightmares can seem a dream
On the surface
People may question, but they just don’t see
All that you are, what you mean to me
You’re all that I’ve searched for, you’re all that I need
You’re all that I want, what I need to succeed
Things aren’t always what they seem
On the surface
The worst nightmares can seem a dream
On the surface
Finally, my heart’s desire and reality have joined and emerged
On the surface
Lindsay sat silent for several minutes after the song ended, ignoring the tears streaming down her face. Looking at Richie she tried to smile through her tears. “Thank you.”
He shrugged. “I thought it might help you.” He paused. “Look Lindsay, I like you, and Jon is like a brother to me. I didn’t want the speculations of some jealous idiots ruining what the two of you could have together. I know better than anyone what unfounded rumours can do to a relationship.” He frowned.
Lindsay reached over and squeezed his hand. “I’m really sorry for what you’re going through Rich. I haven’t known you very long, and I don’t know Heather at all, but I think I can safely say that you deserve better.”
He smiled. “Thanks. I’m slowly coming to that conclusion myself.”
She blew out a breath. “So, how mad is Jon?”
“I think he’s more frustrated than mad. He’s never experienced anything like what you’ve been through, and he doesn’t know how to help you.” He looked at her. “Do you want my advice?” She nodded. “Tell him the truth. Tell him what you heard, and Lindsay…tell him how you feel about him. You’d be amazed at how those three little words can heal a world of hurt.”
“Three little words?” She was almost afraid to ask.
He nodded. “Mmmhmmm…..I love you.” He was still grinning at her surprised expression as he walked out the door.
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